in essence,
men want to take
women to be taken

masculinity is all about action
and femininity about reaction

which is to say: women mirror men,
women give feedback about the strength of a man’s reality/action

or in other words,
a man’s success with women is a measure of the strength of his reality
(=his groundedness, confidence and presence,
his clear boundaries and values, his congruence,
his charisma, his self-reliance)


in a self-feeding loop
the more entitled (and turned-on) a man feels
the more entitled he actually is to take women


some people expect you to feel forced/stifled/contrived/affected/awkward/mannered in their presence
so strongly (and compellingly)
that you cannot help but
feel forced/stifled/contrived/affected/awkward/mannered in their presence

state is contagious

and while dysfunctional (fear-ridden) states spread easily like wildfire
a strong commitment to a grounded state/presence can override that; field-test it!

when you are present and committed to presence you ‘expect’ the other to feel accomodated so much so
that they will feel indeed at ease=present themselves, not reverting to the reactive, (passive-) agressive games of the ego

price of depth

the more that you invest emotionally in something
the more that you backwards rationalize
that there is good reason for it

and this can be as much beneficial (when it helps you grow, and establish a new reality)
as it can be detrimental (when it makes you withdraw, scattered, off-center and ungrounded)

making it harder and harder for you to break out of it

every form of (backwards) rationalization is self-hypnosis

by investing lots of energy and resource into something
-be that a given relationship or a particular identity-
you slide (and, in effect, push yourself) into an emotional wormhole
that opens and simultaneously closes/blinds you to further dimensions of being

there is always a trade-off


the more that you recoil into your head
the more you get/are temparalyzed
strung between the past and the future
wrung by guilt and shame and fear and projections
foregrounding others and their expectations
(external sets of standards)
and backgrounding yourself and your boundary/values
(that inner still small voice)

let go and feel into your body
embody the space that you are
open the present that you are
slow the fuk down, play > savour

it is ok to feel great
it is ok to let loose
it is ok to be cool

riffing on a truism

dont hate the player
hate the game

dont play the game
just game the players ๐Ÿ˜‰

if you wanna change the player
change the game

if you wanna change (=strengthen) your self
change your life situation/habits

change the game you play
and you’ll change

“create a situation
where you either sink or swim”

note to self #

you dont need to impress others
and you dont need to meet their standards
you JUST need to DO YOUR THING

but only if you don’t mask yourself
only if you don’t scramble to justify & qualify yourself to others
in the face of all the fear of losing face