role-management

we go through the motions of the social ocean
transpersonal scripts ripple through us
and all sorts of impersonal roles play us

(as in the basic Heideggerian flip:
language speaking us, customs and rituals performing us)

like programs that execute themselves
fixed actions patterns (FAPs) flit through us

and being highly adaptive at it
we adopt a whole gamut of roles,

roles

roles are constraints that enable (social functioning)

every role has a definite degree of freedom
as in what’s allowed and what’s not allowed
what can be expected from self&other and what-not
they come bundled with a set of rules
as to what you can and cannot do, or feel or think or say
within the confines/constraints of those roles

growing up we gotta learn
to distinguish among and detach/disidentify a bit from these roles/rules

one gotta be a man for a woman, for example, not a friend or a father or a son
a father for a son, not a friend or a teacher or a boss
a teacher/leader for students, again, not a friend
and a friend for friends, not a teacher or a father, etc.

and become fully aware that
none of these roles exhaust our essence

we are more than any of the roles/rules that we happen to play

the one and the many

in the presence of certain people
we choose to constrict and stifle ourselves
we render our boundaries porous, our membranes high-strung
and we become preemptive,
defensive-reactive, withdrawn and vague
why?
yes, we gotta surround ourselves with “positive” people
but those “negative” individuals also play an important role
in effect, the people we find irritating and challenging
point to the weak/dysfunctional parts of our boundary
they are guiding us