october 1

on my morning walk
I walked past a pub
and I saw a man sitting by the window
transfixed, nursing a glass of something
he had a strong aura of immobility,
of directionlessness

my first thought was
how can someone live like that?
enmeshed in a draining daily cycle of inertia

but then
it’s not him–I said to myself–it’s a behaviour
it is simply a pattern he got stuck in
a behaviour pattern that owns him

and then I thought,
who am I to judge?
I remembered one of my ‘mantras’: respect everybody
respect everybody’s choices
no matter how unconscious they may be

next, I associated to the idea
that only those should be helped
who want to help themselves
and that, probably,
only those want to help themselves
who have experienced a higher quality being

which reminded me of Scott Sonnon’s words (re: the arduous process of fat-loss)
to the effect that we gain the strength to begin to overcome self-sabotaging patterns only when we have a biochemical reference to a greater quality life

how true,
we must experience the greater quality behaviour
of our higher self before we can grow the strength
to let go of the impulses of our lesser, dysfunctional self

but I am meandering..

conclusion?

for sure, hold your judgment-horses,
work on YOUR self instead,
fervently, relentlessly, religiously
so that you can contribute as best as you can
because giving ultimately means being honest and true
and courageous enough to share that truth so as to serve others

to give is to earn one’s own respect
by owning and pursuing one’s own truth
so as to irradiate, say, the loops that own and stunt the growth of self and others

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