energy is generated not had

the other day I was invited to dub for extras in a movie
and it so happened that I was totally sluggish that day..
imagine a soft-& slow-spoken guy (that I am) in a totally dim state
and with the compromised verbal articulation that goes with it
attempting to deliver an intense volley of rapid orders
(for the characters of a commando guy and a pissed off police chief)

indeed, my voice may not turn out to be useful for the editors in the end
but I got to experienced yet again the power of, let’s say, squeezed action:
although I felt rather pallid that whole morning
forcing some semblance of vocal intensity out of me had the side-effect of rousing me up, I felt invigorated afterwards, pushed over a threshold of weakness, in effect,
the “up-regulation” of my voice guided me out of the blur

sometimes the same thing happens when I work out (with bar- kettle- or clubbell)
when I push myself beyond a threshold and the idling state/dynamics that holds me ever tighter on a given day eventually flips into a spiraling one that uplifts me

as they say: energy is not something you have, it is something you generate


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