this morning I saw ‘it’
I was at a tube-station making my way towards the exit
there was a young boy walking in front of me with a large school-bag on his back and an over-sized red cap on his dreamy head
enmeshed, completely lost in the flesh of the moment
I saw innocence in his random steps
the innocence that is still free of the miasmatic pressure that will slowly creep upon him as it creeps up on all of us
that nebulous sense of urgency
to be, prove, earn, achieve, DO something

we buy into it,
we let it hijack, hormonally & neurally remould and funnel us
into this chronic mindset & tunnel-vision of movement
where we start rushing
towards something
it is a fuzzy feeling deep down that strikes the spinal chord

we lose touch, we lose trust, we disconnect,
we become disenchanted

as I was watching that giddy zig-zag of the boy approaching the escalator
I was reminded of a snow drop, descending serenely

that’s when I remembered that
I don’t have to prove anything,
I don’t owe anybody anything,
if I want social vacuum, for ex, I can claim it without compunction


this is it
I belong here


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