unrequited love

when people rub us the wrong way
we are all like magic lamps
however, the genie comes out to do its magic
only if we don’t recoil from the pain

the magic happens once you let the resistance go

and you cultivate your capacity to amplify and thus learn from the pain triggered in you

those who pull you down thus vicariously lift you up

respect your triggers

spiral dynamics

I had a little debate last week
about the emerging trend of coaches coaching coachees

apparently, some people think that the self-help industry is but a symptom of the runaway system of late capitalism,
another iteration & manifestation of the technology-driven consumerist society,
and just like any other consumerist product it functions like a loop perpetuating itself by creating a need in people: a need–it is posited–to be successful, to “get” ahead, to be in control

admittedly, if you imagine a coach trying to coach people within a small village or community: there is something undeniably funny about that image..
yes,
the self-help industry appears to proliferate within bustling and “floating” metropolitan contexts

conceding these points a poignant question arises:
does self-help treat the (psychosocial) problems inflicted by a hyper-stimulating capitalist system
or rather exacerbate them by playing into/reinforcing its dynamics?

well,
what seems valid about self-help in this account is the pivotal idea of being proactive (about one’s fulfillment), the fundamental element of movement implied, a kind of striving or anxiety about stagnation

but is this a valid point for dissing self-help?

isn’t the act of treating the active, success-anxious part of the equation (as opposed to a more “harmonious” and “organic” lifestyle) as unnatural and hubristic and cancerous and unsustainable a dualistic gesture itself? privileging one side (a kind of passive genesis) over another?

in my personal view,
self-help might be part and parcel of a “corrupt” or I should say runaway system but it is still helpful in guiding the individual to find a way to thrive within that context
a context that, for all intents and purposes, is natural
besides, in the final analysis, self-help is not about getting (at) and accumulating things at all, it is about sharing and giving
and it is not about control, it is about alignment

life before death

it’s up to you

the half-hearted realm of wishy-washy deferral
is the limbo of a juiceless, lifeless existence

build clarity through experiential experimentation
never cease probing

let your actions determine your emotions
not the other way around

remember,
the stronger your resolve
the stronger your reason for it
where criticism, failure, resistance and your emotions (in response) become mere fodder for it

to paraphrase Nassim Taleb:
while wind puts out a candle, it fuels a fire

loss is an illusion

whatever you lose
& whoever you lose along the way
is good riddance
bc/ what you lose, in effect, is nothing
but your (attachment to a certain) self-image

short term losses are long term gains
yes, another loop:

Diagram6