the I of the (hyperstimulating postmodern) storm

in an interview with Dave Asprey -linked below- John Gray talks about how poor diet choices can wreak havoc on intimate relationships: aggravating, in effect, the inherent (constitutional) conflicts between the genders

firstly John talked about how excessive stimulation (be that in the form of video games, porn, processed food, drugs, social media, interpersonal drama, etc.) shuts down dopamine (feel-good hormone) receptor sites in the brain and compels people to seek more stimulation as they get more and more desensitized/caught up in a runaway loop of reactivity

John then invites us to consider how all this plays out in the interpersonal domain
in terms of gender differences: while women live in the emotion of the moment (rationalizing backward) and go through emotional highs and lows, men are more linear and logically biased, and rather than undulate they tend to open & close (which is part of the reason why interpersonal drama feels more threatening for men than women)
also, men need a vacuum of recovery after bonding, to flush the testosterone/drive-suppressing oxytocin (bonding hormone) from their system: just as women feel an opportunity to go deeper in intimacy men feel a need to withdraw for a while

now all these sources of conflict are aggravated if there is an addiction to stimulation buttressed by poor dietary habits

women constitutionally need to snack more to maintain metabolic balance but when they are habitually consuming empty calories from processed, sugary food, for example, it (over)spikes their blood sugar –giving a temporary high that precedes an inevitable crash– which feeds into a loop of addiction and hormonal imbalances, resulting in bipolar kind of emotional rollercoasters and intensive drama with their man..

the key to harmonious and productive or functional and synergistic relationships, John suggests, is mindfulness of these patterns and taking proactive measures to balance or tone down the hormonal oscillations

lows are part of the highs, our internal oscillations are natural, but recovery is something that should be done proactively and preemptively rather than suffering through them after the fact

again, the message:
a proactive lifestyle is about taking all the stimulants and stressors and distractors into mindful account and strategically (and preemptively) replenishing the depletion they inflict


a great complement to this interview is another great one with Daniel Amen:


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