the 3 steps to social alignment

no matter how aligned we get:
we are always going to have sensitive areas and emotional buttons that people can push

like the other day at the kitchen table
I suddenly snapped when my brother started chipping at me as he is wont to do sometimes

mind you, he was not trying to attack me
that is only his poorly calibrated way of connecting,
but I took it personal because I guess am still a bit sensitive to the probing and thematizing of my dietary habits

/usually I brush and smile it off but the fact of the matter is I am a bit reactive around this issue
the reason being that
I have peculiar eating habits,
not only in terms of sticking to a specific diet (keeping it “bulletproof” & “perfect health”)
but in terms of securing ample portions for myself or gluttonizing bigger quantities at once (when I am in company)
as if to forego ending up unfed
and sure enough, I am the type who looks underweight,
who knows: my digestive & metabolic mechanism might be subject to genes affected by famines deeper down our family tree..

at any rate

I am loath to justifying something I don’t want to be justifying,
and I do understand that it’s up to me to let it go and make light of it, but bypassing the discord dynamics and being sucked into the role of justifying my “dainty” departure from the normal can get quite challenging at stressful times
but
back to the main thread:/

there is no way around it
the irritation has to be manifested one way or another
because that’s how you stay humble(d)

as a general principle:

you need to be vulnerable to participate:
and you participate by not hiding the hurt

you need to participiate to contribute:
and you contribute by reflecting on the hurt
by shifting from the personal to the impersonal
and transmuting low vibration to high vibration
by integrating, in other words,
“transcending and including” the hurt

/this is the alchemy of self-help:

whatever issue there is
the solution will always be taking ownership of it
(and going from there, wherever you happen to be at)

becoming a goose that -whatever comes to pass- lays golden eggs

transmuting hurts/

again,
social alignment is at stake here

don’t be no buddha bro
show your hurt: react

then reflect & take ownership of your reaction

and last:
communicate
share your process of integration

acting stoic and nonreactive is way more arrogant than lashing out in an arrogant manner
BUT
getting stuck & bogged down at the plane of reaction
pinging off the cacophony of discord
is dumb
we need to reflect
BUT then
reflection without sharing the insights from it
is still dysfunctional

the healthy loop of social alignment is the triad of
reaction to a trigger
reflection after its expression
and its communication

this a loop where you ascend from a thesis
through an antithesis to a synthesis

/funnily enough, this insight was born of a conflict
where I reacted and reflected but have not proceeded to share,
I have not synthesized or alchemized the BS into a golden egg
by sharing my process of integration with the peson who triggered it..

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