visceral intuition

I had a shitty shifty sleep tonight..
that heavy meal before bed probably had a lot to do with it

I was gluttonuous again
and I got as a result what I deserve
which, in effect, is what I need (to align better)

in my mind this is what “you get what you give” means

growing older is the gradual awakening to this fact,
how every decision I make either sharpens or dulls my edge
shifts the place where I am coming from or where I am at

but no matter what
stew of trotters is gonna be irresistible for me forever

at any rate
load your gun with the bullets compatible with it

that’s the principle of alignment right there

information (culled from books, magz & the interwebs)
provides potent ammunition
or sets of potentally optimal options
but it is your body
your actual impulses & appetites
that gets you select the best pick out of those options
(regarding physical & mental health or skill acquisition, for ex)

the trick is to distinguish between your
dark & light appetites
and following the trail of the latter while resisting the former

the way I binarize the light [authentic] and dark [inauthentic] appetites (that assists me in all this) is basically in terms of:
distraction & addiction vs expression & response(-able action)

as a case in point:
when you feel like eating out of idleness or anxiety
instead of dealing with those states of mind “head on” or more constructively
you are acting out your dark appetite
to distract (and possibly addict as well) yourself
but when you eat because and WHEN you get hungry (not before, not later), when “nature calls you”
that’s your light appetite

this is the idea behind distinguishing craving from desire,
needing sg/sy from wanting sg/sy

it takes lots of tuning
and you cultivate your feel for it
by acting on the whole spectrum of your appetites
just cross your fingers you won’t run out of ammo
before your trials outnumber your errors 😉


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