success is failure

you achieve your results
in spite of your efforts

your body knows what to do
and it does it
provided you give it space

to give space takes time

by merely being present
you feel compulsions arise

your duty is to show up for your impulses
and take ownership of them

results come not from effort
results come from relaxation

what high performers and athletes achieve is success not results
results come of alignment

when I wake up & do corrective stretches
it is not something I force myself to do
I am merely slow enough for my body to compel me to do so

hunger and taste is a better dietician than nutritionsits

[industries are in the business of attenuating intuition]

results come not from effort
results come from relaxation

and relaxation doesn’t mean indulgence in distractions
which is based on avoidance
eating & watching junk
sitting around in a masturbatory loop of idleness

relaxation means presence
showing up, taking ownership
which is based on allowing

once you manage to methodically relax and sync up with your compulsions
you start achieving (your) results

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passive aggression

real arrogance is condemning one’s self-reliant ease as arrogance

“I am a very peaceful man because I am always ready to protect that peace. That offends some” – Scott Sonnon

I hate it when people interpret my withdrawal
as a signal that I have a problem with them

when people take my emotional fluctuations personally
as if any little quirk of my behavior was about them

which is yet another attempt at trying to control the other emotionally by triggering guilt in them

it barely gets to me but I still hate it
because that’s the real arrogance:
when someone resents someone else for their self-reliance
and reprehend their transparency and authenticity as arrogance

phallus

you cannot be all fingers
the fingers have to be attached to a hand
as the arms are attached to a torso

a fragmented self cannot focus or shift gears with ease
among different modalities of relating

there has to be a solid foundation first
that subtends and supports the harmonized dynamics of your energetic transactions

without a foundation
there is no scalable ramification

if you are not integrated & aligned with your purpose as a man, for instance, you cannot enter new pursuits fruitfully

know thy triggers

everything we are energetically open to be affected by is a stimulant

stimulants either replenish or deplete
and it’s not a binary, it’s a continuum:
even too much water can kill you
what grounds you in moderation un-grounds in excess

stimulants are addictive to the extent of anxiety
or indeterminacy in the (mental) system

beyond a certain threshold excess stimulation reaches a point of diminishing returns which is buffered by systemic inflammation

you cannot get what you already have

every time that sneaky subconscious (performance-)anxiety seeps in and over-saturates
where I find myself in a state of rush, slowly turning hyper, shifting into a mode of chasing, seeking, wanting, becoming a moving target, trying to dodge some invisible bullet
as if to evade or mitigate some kind of tension,
a sense of guilt or shame or falling short, etc.
every time this happens
sooner or later
my consciousness addresses my ego along the following lines:

slow down
stop
let it come to you

and understand:

every point you score is an own-goal

because the more points you score
the more you become attached to an outcome

and the more you become attached to an outcome
the less poise/presence you have

and the less presence you have
the less of a chance you stand to score more points

now,
of course you are hung up on winning the game
of course you enjoy chasing your tail
of course you drive yourself “blind” and “lame” from time to time
of course
because it’s fun
it is (busy) being human
but then, come on
instead of constantly trying to get better at scoring
train yourself to relax,
to sit back and witness