Pay Attention

tune into every little wobble you experience
they give way and give away your attempts at Self-sabotage

your reactions hint at unresolved tensions
and neurotic holding patterns

they show where you are at
where you are presently standing in your own way

breathe out
relax into them


effortless effort

there is this seeming paradox
of resisting less and less and slowly relaxing into and freely expressing who you already are
and resisting more and more and progressively detaching and pushing away from who you think you are

it’s a trap

“the Venus flytrap can count the number of times that its victims touch the sensory hairs on its leaves. One touch does nothing. Two closes the trap. Three primes the trap for digestion. And five, according to Hedrich’s latest study, triggers the production of digestive enzymes—and more touches mean more enzymes. The plant apportions its digestive efforts according to the struggles of its prey. And the fly, by fighting for its life, tells the plant to start killing it, and how vigorously to do so.”

yes, your predicament is directly proportional to your resistance to it


read an interesting passage the other day:

“For those exposed to high levels of environmental (physical, nutritional, developmental, emotional) stressors since early childhood, it is the absence of stress that creates unease; to such persons stress feels desirable while the absence of it feels like something to be avoided”

to which I’d complementarily add that what happens perhaps matters less than how the individual relates to or makes sense of it

so I guess it’s as much from within as without

but makes me think of self-imposed pressure and self-sabotage as a compensatory mechanism, an actual comfort zone for those crippled with fear of trust and intimacy
(which is most of us?)

The Journey

setbacks signal step-ups

hold back less and act with abandon more

and don’t worry
you are supposed to lose your poise when you let go

risk losing a little face every other day

but when it happens decelerate: recover from your wobbles

this is the most crucial part of alignment

feel the ripples and the emotional-hormonal tailspin you slip into


take ownership of the fallout

feel excited about the higher plane you are just about to scale


thinking of diet cults (paleo, vegan, bulletproof, etc.) my mind strikes an existential theme:

whatever brings (temporary) respite from your struggles soon becomes the next object of your fixation which generates the struggle in the first place

we all suffer from OCD
because anxiety is the human condition
for some it takes milder for others stronger forms

once we lose the umbilical tie we begin our Journey of fixating on things (beliefs, possessions, relationships, etc.) where whatever we fixate on feeds into our anxiety

underlying all our struggles is an obsession about completeness

we seek meaning and relevance from the get-go the same way we seek health once it gets compromised



just relax