self-rejection is at the root

for some of us intimacy codes for rejection

and feeling that we deserve little affection (being the lousy investment that we are) is a way of buffering against it

the problem is that feeling unworthy of care and affection
translates into you feeling the same way about others too

if you feel that you are not enough
you will treat others without respect too
for the simple reason that you cannot feel for others
what you cannot feel for yourself

the loop is self-perpetuating

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