the spectre of bonding

intimacy & affection are intense forms of exposure
that set you face to face with your self-imposed pressures (to appease)

those who received scarce attention as children
and developed ambivalent patterns of attachment
need to leverage social exposure in a measured way
they have to build tolerance to it against the grain of their over-sensitivity to it gradually

for them every interaction is effectively a work-out on their “poise”
from which they have to repeatedly recover

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