You attract what you put up with

the compulsion to please others stems from a pattern of behavior that you bring from the past, whenever you feel resentful towards people who seem to be needy and clingy it stems from a self-imposed pressure to bond with them, granted, others assist in establishing it but it is, in effect, you who enact your involvement in interpersonal dynamics riddled with expectations, it is you who project the emotional demands that are smothering you, it is you who make yourself feel as if you owed it to others to humor them and it is you who guilt yourself into reciprocating phony intimacy and faking a semblance of genuine sympathy, it is a choice that have been made and sustained by you and only you, or as Adyashanti puts it: You attract what you are willing to put up with

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