You get what you give

We make decisions at levels we could barely ever fathom

An elderly student of mine (over 70)—who years ago began to attend in order to keep his (already impressive command of) English in good repair and thus empower himself to expose his grandson to it (by speaking in English to him as much as possible) with confidence—makes it a point, at the start of each of our sessions, to update me on his problematic (or as he says: fantastic) grandson and ’’the latest mischief he has been up to’’ since the last one. Let’s call the grandson Jonas. In short, Jonas is a pretty intense, hyper type of a boy who is, say, aggressively overflowing with energy as well as (interpersonal) anxiety—I think. Jonas gets ill a lot and he also has a severe case of constipation for which he has already had to be hospitalized several times before. As far as I understand it lots of his stress manifests in the kindergarten where, in fact, he is barely present, given his never-ending episodes of health issues. Of course, I have my own specious speculations about why he might be so out of balance, letting go uncontrollably in certain aspects while chronically holding back and not willing to let go in other respects. Clearly, separation is something really hard on him. At any rate, what his grandfather told me the other day just blew my mind. After 5 days of not passing stool Jonas was promised by his grandmother that he didn’t have to go to the kindergarten the next day if he managed to produce something in the toilet soon. Guess what: within half an hour there was a large pile on display there. Fascinating.

God only knows how much my own case of sluggish bowel movement is but a psychosomatic symptom of emotionally holding back, but one thing is for sure: We make decisions at levels we could barely ever fathom.


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