We choose to feel confused in order to protect others from the truth. And we want to protect others from the truth because we want to protect (the image/idea/story we have of) ourselves.
The level of struggle you experience is the level of attachment you sustain in relation to the idea of yourself. The intensity of your struggle reflects the level of emotional energy you invest in the story of your self.
Guilt-ridden we think we would abandon others and self-servingly renounce the world but what truly holds us back is the fear of abandoning ourselves (as we know it).