I is having the sulks. I is paralyzed by the fear of being rejected again. I is afraid of change, of loss, of the impermanence of life. I wants resolution, transcendence. I wants to finally come home. I wants to (re)solve and transcend the messiness of life. I wants guarantees. I wants to be special. I wants to get it right, to live my life in the right way with the right people at the right time in the right place at the right pace. Therefore, I needs to improve constantly to become more and more aligned and functional and sexy and happy and adjusted.
It’s all happening on its own accord—with or without me. Everything is but an echo. There is life as it blooms in this moment and there is the echoes in my mind that cloud it. There is no escaping the messiness of it. There is no right or wrong here. There is only this moment as it is—with or without me.
Might as well choose to have some good times.