Being caught up in the self-improvement loop is better than indulging self-destructive alternatives. Still, you’re fundamentally operating from restlessness—wherein: Rather than letting the truest impulses find you, you are busy rushing things. Your mind compels you to bulletproof and forcefeed:
your ’’brain’’ with knowledge and information
your ’’persona’’ with newsletters, updates & feeds on social
your muscles and tendons with (over)corrective stretches and excessive exercise
your ’’gut’’ with supplements and supposedly nutritious foods
your ’’soul’’ with spiritual teachings
All too busy deferring and buffering against the very wholeness that you seek.
Other people are hell only so long as you keep chasing and being haunted by the phantoms that they trigger in you. The slightest sense of guilt or shame or anxiety signals the fact that you’ve resorted to indulge fantasy. The moment you cease buying into your thoughts and your emotions your struggle with others ends too.
You can’t get away with anything in life. All illusions end up in pain. Never mind what happens: respond rather than react. You see what you aim at. Your ego keeps the scope fuzzy. Aim at the truth. Stay with your deepest intent, bracket the noise. Allow what arises without indulging or personalizing it. Stay empty handed, congruent only to the truth of this moment. The only thing that you can give is your presence and the only thing you can get is presence in return. Stay loose, go with the given. Notice nuances. Don’t mind what happens. Roll with what gives. See where it goes.
Rather than getting lost in the grip of self-grasping: Self-massage during bad moods. Sit with it and wait until you can give voice to your emotional pain and once there is a voice to it just let is speak & then make fun of it, by gradually amplifying the phoney, whiny tone of it.