When people tell me that they don’t understand the things I write/talk about I know that the only reason they don’t get me is that they don’t understand themselves in the first place. When dealing with me some feel confused about me, some feel frustrated by me, some dislike me, some quite like me—but if they cared enough most of them, I think, would be somewhat fascinated by (their idea of) me. Paradoxically, the less separate I feel from them (us) the more separate they seem to feel from me. The less there is of me and the more I loosen & relax into (us as) life they tend to project more and more of their issues onto me. In other words, people relate to people like me exactly the way they relate to life. It’s not personal at all. It’s just weird.
There is always the choice between going with the TRUTH or HOLDING BACK (aka feeding into the fearful ego). When a girl arouses you and you feel like engaging her but hold back instead (to maintain your cool and not risk losing face while hoping for her to initiate) you deny the TRUTH and more importantly you refuse to GIVE her BACK the GIFT that she is giving you by her arousing presence in that moment. Her presence triggers a SPARK in you that can be shared (instead of trying to keep your ego spared). Of course, it’s not necessary at all to do so especially when yo ain’t single, but that can be your truest gift to her: giving back the spark that SHE triggers in you by telling her how she makes you feel (inside and out)—no agenda, no pressure, no demands, no strings attached. Embodying the jolt of the moment. Aligning with the truth and sharing it. She will either appreciate it or she will react out of her own fearful ego and reject or even try and humiliate you. Both ways are OK since it is the truth that she responds to. Nothing is ever personal. If there is a SPARK it is your privilege as a man to initiate engaging her and it is her privilege as a woman to either receive or reject your truthful thrust. For this you must keep your poise and be grounded in your gut, engaging her from the truth of the moment—steering clear of the images the scheming ego automatically starts projecting. If she resorts to playing games with you she is doing so out of frustration over your failing to stay true to her and the truth of the moment. Simple as that. Now go and harass her ass. See where it goes…
Your reluctance to reciprocate on the level of the personal (i.e. playing the game of phony rapport and antagonism) will piss off many people. And if you choose ease and opt for joy instead of taking on the duty of responsible struggle you will elicit the ire of many too.
You get what you go with. You either go with what you think or you go with what you want. If you go with what you are thinking—which for the most part is fear-based anxiety and worries—that’s what you’ll end up enacting. If you go with what you want that’s what you’ll get.
The truth is what you want.
It’s simple, it’s felt. You either follow it or you rationalize and intellectualize your way around it. If you refuse your impulses, you suffer. Your impulses are the call of life to grow and evolve.
Life happens outside the thoughts in your head, it happens in the moment of engaging what you truly want.
We all have a different truth that is pulling us to want certain things. Our truth and our wants evolve—provided we step on their path. If we remain tethered to fear (our thoughts) we’ll stagnate and suffer and enact a reality of dis-ease and scarcity as the thinking mind operates on the logic of scarcity. Your truth on the other hand flows from a place of abundance.
You want freedom.
Freedom is to go with the pull of your truth without guilt over the consequences. Freedom is going with your truth even at the expense of others’ good opinion and at the expense of your agreeable self-image. You are free once you feel ready to let down and disappoint and break rapport with your self and others. Guilt or shame won’t move you any more, only move through you.
You are here to speak your truth. You are here to evolve.
Admittedly, I tend to get carried away and readily over-interpret a simple upset stomach in spiritual terms too but I do believe that on some fundamental level all processes con-spiral, it’s mutually arising reflections all the way, which is to say, the day I decide to take the leap and totally entrust myself to my actual appetite over sound nutritional advice will probably be the very same day that I finally resolve to engage people truly authentically and for real. The day I let go of the need to see(k) is going to be the day I suddenly see through it all. At least I like to indulge in entertaining neat thoughts like this. 😉
Reality is in-between, I guess.
We choose to feel confused in order to protect others from the truth. And we want to protect others from the truth because we want to protect (the image/idea/story we have of) ourselves.
The level of struggle you experience is the level of attachment you sustain in relation to the idea of yourself. The intensity of your struggle reflects the level of emotional energy you invest in the story of your self.
Guilt-ridden we think we would abandon others and self-servingly renounce the world but what truly holds us back is the fear of abandoning ourselves (as we know it).
Paradoxically, when we want to please (which is to say humour, entertain, impress, appease, perform and deliver for, live up to the expectations of) others we focus on ourselves at the expense of them, hence the anxiety: we are worried about how we are being received rather than showing up fully for & with them in the (truth of the) moment