The most you can give is presence. No rhetoric trumps your genuine presence. Doesn’t matter how smart or cogent and convincing you sound: it’s your presence—that’s light and spacious in essence—that is the most efficacious argument and the truest of propositions that there is. All the rest is nonsense.
today after our session I had a chat with one of my clients
and for some reason the conversation lead to the concerns he has about the young gadget-generation (represented in his, allegedly, utterly nonchalant and spoiled 15 year old nephew)
at one point I said that everybody has their context and in their context everybody is doing the “right” thing (namely, addressing their needs as best as they can) but other than this what I did, in essence, was merely riffing on, regurgitating and feeding back his critical comments to him
which, as always, feels rather duplicitous (or two-faced) to me, for, on the one hand, yes, I was giving him space where judgment is more than less suspended while, on the other, I was not engaging him for “real”
/achieving such a delicate balance is the truest challenge: to genuinely engage a person without being too recklessly assertive or too spinelessly passive with them/
at any rate, I can see it now:
on the level of the personal, at the level of the face he was lamenting and criticizing things, seeking a sort of false reassurance,
yet, on a deeper level, he was calling to the openness within (via my presence) seeking real reassurance,
or, to wax esoteric, his soul was calling (through me) the presence we (all) share
and by echoing and repackaging his thoughts(!) I failed to respond to that call
the ultimate ecstasy is to be totally present
and to come into their presence
people need space (being listened to, shared)
people do not need parrots
funnily enough, on my way home I engaged another person who shared some of his extreme (fascist) views with me, yet again, I found myself surfing that edge, attempting to being receptive and keeping a solid boundary at once..
will this ever help resolve anything? I wonder..
openness is always threatening for people lost in the maze of the face (the paradigm of narrative identity) and engenders resistance in them to the extent they are lost in that maze