Remain aware of all the ways you actually try to hook her into depending on you emotionally. Practice liberating her heart from need rather than binding it. —David Deida
Every interaction is a sequence made up of moments of winces and moments of surrender. In other words you are either tripping or you are showing up. Make a habit of cultivating the latter while noticing instances of the former.
/Ht David Deida
Guys, let me paraphrase David Deida: they are waiting for someone to stop them from their patterns to open as love, you are not being a bad person intervening in their life, they are waiting to be opened as love; they want to be seen; they want to be taken.
Give what you think you want to get. Give what you think you need. Give what you think you lack. Give what you seek.
First PICTURE, in graphic detail, your sexual, financial, etc. fantasies. Then FEEL (the sense of aliveness, abundance, completeness, home, etc. evoked inside as a result) as you CIRCULATE (breathe it down through your heart and gut) & BEAM it outside.
And you shall receive.
/Ht David Deida
it isn’t okay and that’s okay https://youtu.be/DXal4V335AA
When a man leads women follow, it is as simple as that, he needs but trust the thrust of his gut, the confusion starts when for some reason he becomes tentative and women become bitchy in response
All a man needs to know about women is that women don’t want to be pleased, they just want to be taken and savored and relished and ravished, women want to feel safe on the side of a man who trusts his heart and brings the truth
your true intent is to heal your deepest wounds
if you don’t own and act on your true intent
all you do is ab-use others
and further damage your self
your true intent is to relax from your structural imbalances
it all starts beyond the realm of (saving & losing) face
a couple of examples:
(1) in training, lifting weights your true intent is ligament alignment,
balancing your musculo-skeletal system
there is no better authority on this than Scott Sonnon:
“Be weakness-focused, create exercise opportunities for the weaknesses to flex and restrengthen themselves; balance comes as a natural by product
“Weakness is neural shut-down. Hold, until you switch back on
“The exercise you most hate is the one you need most.
“Test the ranges, find the restrictions, build the fundamentals, practice the skills, and only then train them at high intensity
(2) following dietary advice your true intent is appetite alignment
balancing your hormonal system
to my mind this is the best advice regarding proper nutrition:
“Optimizing health and increasing energy requires consuming a diet of easily digestible foods eaten in proper frequency and balance. The trick is learning to understand what foods are easily digestible to YOUR body and what is a proper frequency and balance for YOU” — EastWest Healing
(3) in intimacy your true intent is boundary alignment
balancing inter-personal needs
the best authority on this is David Deida:
“If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence”
and sometimes the seemingly sleazy is nothing but a form of psycho-social therapy, an intra-personal alignment: https://youtu.be/DR2j2RC0Ytk?t=1h51m