What Goes Around

When you obtain something out of straining, out of grasping for it you can keep it only by holding (on to) it. Anything you manage to get hold of is something that’s hard-won and needs constant maintenance. It’s doomed to break down and fall away in the end. Think of your ex. Ill-gotten gains require ill at ease games. Let things come to you instead—no matter how long it takes. Relax into the truth.


Hide ‘n Seek Sitting

A couple of hours ago I sat down to relax and to see (more clearly the truth of my current situation) and what I saw after 2 hours of squirming and restlessly turning was that what, in effect, I sat down with was an agenda to see. It took me around 2 hours to opt for the truth over the self-induced fit of confusion and frustration. My mind kept flashing images from the past and the potential future to which my body responded in kind and the I felt eager to go into the texture of these sensations to let them resolve themselves. I wanted to spend the time productively and do some healing. Yet again, I sat down to resolve and transcend the internal mess that defines feeble, fallible me. In other words, I didn’t sit down to relax initially, I sat down to struggle rather. Much like in writing these posts where usually there is a hidden agenda that sparks the intent to engage in articulating them—namely the agenda to get past and transcend the weaker version of myself by sharing and thus taking ownership of it—more often than not meditation is abused to the same narcissistic end.


/I wonder, though, if I am still around and decided on a whim to reread these posts in 10+ years from now how will I relate to them? Will I feel embarrassed? Or amused? Or fascinated? Or puzzled? I have no idea. Probably, for better or for worse, I’ll have much less free time on my hands to indulge in chasing my elusive tail like this. Probably the concept of ’transcending me mess’ won’t make much sense either by that time. Who knows. I’ll report back, I guess. But then, all I’m doing here is playing the game of the truth and this is where it’s at right now.


You may dodge a couple of bullets by having recourse to neurotic forms of preventive & proactive contraction (i.e. fixating on leading a healthy lifestyle, restrictive dieting, stress management, etc.) but why bother struggling when getting hit by lethal shots is a guarantee. Sooner or later—and in the relative scheme of things it doesn’t matter whether it’s sooner or whether it’s later—we’ll all have to face the break down of our bodies. Why not fixate on the truth of (y)our being instead? /Once you align with the truth of your being the habits of a truly healthy lifestyle emerge inevitably & effortlessly anyway.

know your hormetic range

Exposure has to have a context
which is basically your Intent
every exposure practice should be engaged with a mind to Align

strength training, cold exposure, cold approaching/seduction, social dynamics, intimacy, dieting, art, creation, unapologetic self-expression, asserting personal boundaries, seeking to address personal needs before anyone else’s, etc., etc.
all these Exposure practices are supposed to help you align rather than change (for the better)

they have to be driven, in other words, by a selfless motive rather than a selfish one for gains, lays, fame, success

if it is driven by the latter and you are still bent on escaping the inferior state you (feel you) momentarily inhabit you will tend to compulsively overdo it
and when you overdo something in order to change your “state”
you’ll end up further compromising it

see Exposure as an act of re-balancing
metabolically, hormonally, psychologically, etc.

as a circling back
to full-blown Trust

done right
it’ll feel effortless

no matter the amount of hit & miss it involves

once you hit upon the right notes a couple of times
the corrective stretches will take care of themselves
and the harmonization process will take over and continue cycling through your body/system as long as you provide it enough space/Trust

success is failure

you achieve your results
in spite of your efforts

your body knows what to do
and it does it
provided you give it space

to give space takes time

by merely being present
you feel compulsions arise

your duty is to show up for your impulses
and take ownership of them

results come not from effort
results come from relaxation

what high performers and athletes achieve is success not results
results come of alignment

when I wake up & do corrective stretches
it is not something I force myself to do
I am merely slow enough for my body to compel me to do so

hunger and taste is a better dietician than nutritionsits

[industries are in the business of attenuating intuition]

results come not from effort
results come from relaxation

and relaxation doesn’t mean indulgence in distractions
which is based on avoidance
eating & watching junk
sitting around in a masturbatory loop of idleness

relaxation means presence
showing up, taking ownership
which is based on allowing

once you manage to methodically relax and sync up with your compulsions
you start achieving (your) results

relationships help you align

if you initiate a relationship
from a place of holding back
and putting up an engaging cool front
it will take effort to maintain it
before you end up losing it

in principle,
what you achieve through effort
will take effort to keep
but when you achieve something with ease
(i.e. without holding back)
it will evolve with ease

to find a good match:
don’t hold back, taste a lot and keep probing,
learn to see beyond looks
and perceive behavioral compatibility