In the past I’ve held the tacit belief that everyone should be like the person I intended to be: someone dedicated to the truth and oriented towards insights, someone emotionally motivated by the excitement of seeing [recurring] patterns and living a deadbeat lifestyle geared towards facilitating this seeing. I wanted to become the ’’transparent eyeball’’ and over the years—in keeping with this aim—everything I was doing turned out to be devoted to keeping a loose, en-lightened frequency of being in good repair—I ended up being a ’frequency holder’ of sorts, responsible for upkeeping, upregulating and bringing a subtler vibration of energy to bear on my dealings with others. Also, I’ve become obsessed with sharing the treasure of insights I’ve been graced to stumble upon by packaging them in neat wording. I believe in heart-felt wisdom that is borne of transparency and that results in efficacy of being. This is what drives me essentially. The fact that most of my life I’ve felt guilt-ridden about my half-hearted dealings with others as a consequence of this obsession is simply beyond absurd. At long last I realize that I need not take others’ tastes & preferences personally and that I am not responsible for justifying mine any more than others are responsible for justifying theirs. We differ. What makes me tick makes many diss me, and vice versa. We truly are a multifarious bunch in terms of style, rhythm, values, motivations, etc., and this is perfectly OK.
There are the faces around that we all are, faces, already fading, about to be forgotten faces, blooming, withering and vanishing sea waves of faces, my face and your face to be lost sooner or later we are to lose no matter how hard we try to save it on facebook, from humiliation and utter oblivion, always already fading from the face of the Earth, every single face you ever face faces to be replaced, by other faces, as our faces have replaced the faces flowering before us, under the sun, nothing special,
Do you see?
Do you see them now?
Do you feel the love you actually feel for all of them? The faces up the streets, in the shops, in the parks and on the trams. The faces at work and the faces at home. The faces from the past, opposite, behind and next to yours, the newborn faces. Out and about. Take a look. Variations on a theme. Beneath all these faces we all share the same essence. Underneath the myriad faces there is only one sameone there.
nothing stays, on the face of it
What remains, in the end, nothing else remains but awareness, of this moment, above and in front of all the toyful joys and the soulfull sorrows of the person who is losing everybody and everything, slowly and surely, all that it—as an I—has ever attained or missed and all that it has ever grown fond of and loved, sooner or later, falls away, and then the truth meets the truth… this heart is breaking and oozing gooey pain at the thought of my parents fading, at the thought of an ex and the countless unpursued prospects blending into the impersonal mass of the female flesh I’m so mesmerized by day by day: nothing remains that I could hold on to, nothing that I can grasp, nobody, noone, nothing to fixate on, nothing that fix(at)es, nothing that grounds me, nothing to write about really, all the writing blurs into noise, another iteration of the same old, same old, everything pixelates, with me in the middle of it all, alive, a heart, ready to burst, or stop, almost, for real, and it’s beating on, for it’s only the mind that is blown away by the overwhelm called truth
Without school, work and social accountability, without rules, rituals and duties, in one word, without structure we degenerate. Without institutions human society falls apart. There is a sound bio-spiritual reason for social conditioning. Social conditioning is not something bad, at the most it is something to be transcended. Runaway technology now poses a threat like never before. When the nonstop VR of self-catering gadgets take the place of cattle and hoe that call us to rise early, for instance, the natural cycle is straightaway disrupted and our biochemistry and hormonal balance gets thoroughly scrambled. So long as it caters to the anxiety-ridden agenda of the mind connectivity continues to aggravate our disconnectedness. Perhaps. Or maybe not. God only knows.
the game is all about the process of taking ownership of your vessel
it may be the same old evolutionary algorithm mindlessly bifurcating away, as it has always been
people [in the West] are losing their edge,
we are blurring into inflamed lumps of mealy matter
we are losing our grit
the technopolis cushions us into boxes marked ‘fragile’
shirking exposure we turn into sickly impostors
exposure puts us on our edge
and on our edge we are called to go within
to take ownership of our vessel/our power
& to use that power to empower
instead we are building the DEATH STAR of creature comforts
a smart environment to lull us into obsequious opulence
and the smarter we make our environment
the defter our mental processor gets
but it also may very well be that
the more we control and have the “external” within our grasp
the more we lose our grasp on the “internal”