Take nothing at face value. See through the sur-face. See through the ripples. Rest with the truth of this moment. No matter the content it’s the context of your engagements that manifests in your experience. No matter their content it’s the context of your comments that determines the interpersonal trajectories involving you.
See through the bitchiness of women, see through the antagonism of colleagues, see through the heavy moods of loved ones, see through their trans-generational, trauma-induced compulsions to hurt and feel hurt, see through the ingratiating comments of your fans, see through your adverse and elated reactions—feel them, embrace them, fully, rest in them, struggle with ease—nothing’s a big deal.
Things go awry (emotionally) when I take them personally—which is natural, this is what an I is supposed to be doing anyway. The I is geared towards experiencing frustration since that’s what sustains (the sense of) it. Once the recognition arises, though, that the person who takes things personally doesn’t exist and the world this person enacts and the struggle that it experiences in this world is only as real as an optical illusion is real then there will be less and less inclination to avoid the truth of the moment. Once the recognition arises that I can either rest in the truth or I can be driven by frustration: there is less and less inclination to do the latter.
If you choose to go with the truth be prepared to be constantly criticized, tested & detested, guilted, shamed, misjudged, misunderstood and abandoned [by self & other respectively] because that’s what it takes to deliver it.
I have a rule: If you wish to be seen, show your truest colors—the other stuff: that sticky, clingy, gooey, needy, personal, phony, affected, demanding, ambivalent, avoidant, shadow-play way of relating, no thanks, please. But then, this is a rule I myself am struggling to live up to. For all intents and purposes.
Your reluctance to reciprocate on the level of the personal (i.e. playing the game of phony rapport and antagonism) will piss off many people. And if you choose ease and opt for joy instead of taking on the duty of responsible struggle you will elicit the ire of many too.
How could we ever become true to each other until we take things so personally and get hurt and aggressive (mostly passively but sometimes physically abusive) whenever the Truth slips out of sync with our personal judgment and preference and, by the same token, places our (adopted and ingrained) sense of comfort and safety under threat?
No matter how much we resist and sulk and argue and suffer the Truth will out.
And yet we keep on discouraging each other from being true and transparent because we are stubborn as a mule and won’t give up taking things personally. What a farce. Instead of encouraging each other to be real we seek to do the opposite.
The prognosis is clear: So long as we fail to align with the Truth and proceed instead to take things personally we will feel (and be) disempowered which in turn will compel us to find ways to disempower others too