The most you can give is presence. No rhetoric trumps your genuine presence. Doesn’t matter how smart or cogent and convincing you sound: it’s your presence—that’s light and spacious in essence—that is the most efficacious argument and the truest of propositions that there is. All the rest is nonsense.



what’s there to be shared
without it being generated first by some-self

if you chase your own tail long enough
others will feel “enjoined” to join in

a comedian, for instance, is in his funniest
when he is self-amused
without self-amusement
there is no shared amusement

the same way

people will have confidence & place trust in you
to the extent that you are self-reliant
(i.e. independent of their opinion & judgment)

Gone Girl

When I met Nick Dunne I knew he wanted Cool Girl
He will always prefer Cool Girl


what a movie

though I wish there was a more charitable complexity to Amy’s character
the miasma of ambi-valence did not totally evaporate at the end,
in fact, the uncanny aura of the psychology of the characters is what I would like to drive further here:

I’m the cunt you married. The only time you liked yourself is when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like

taking it in the abstract
in my eye this film depicts the closure (hermetic, operational, whatever) of experience
the idea that we never access another
only vicariously
through (what we) experience (of them)

all we ever know about another
is what they trigger in us
it’s the ripples their expression triggers in us

the interpersonal dynamics that’s unleashed is unique as we co-create spirals of expectations & projections
and mold subsequent personas

Nick teased things out of me I didn’t know existed

respectively, we never know what we trigger in another

the other remains a mystery

//but then: we share an essence
0ne Source
we are Nature
trending inside out…

the haunting cinematography and score of the movie
triggered in part the terror of experiential solipsism

hats off to the creators

Q-ing 101

the question: where are you “going”?
is a very potent cue
you cannot Q (cue/trigger) people who haven’t gone through the experience that renders them ready for that particular Q (question/trigger)

interpersonal logistics

if you want to influence others
get yourself into a state of mind
you would like to transfer

you must go first, always

get yourself there and then
simply transfer the state

this is the gist of it
as for the nuts and bolts
it’s all about logistics:

find the (next) best circumstances
and the (next) best cues
to facilitate the transference and trigger the target state

getting intimate with someone, for example,
involves inviting the other to emotionally invest and expose themselves in the interaction
but if you are careless about the logistics
and ask a personal question in an “unsafe” environment in front of seniors, say,
the other won’t comply

more walk less talk

never give advice and other judgment-based BS to people
help/inspire those who want to help/inspire themselves
simply by doing your thing

you can affect only those who have the capacity and the desire
to be affected by the things you say and the things you do