Being caught up in the self-improvement loop is better than indulging self-destructive alternatives. Still, you’re fundamentally operating from restlessness—wherein: Rather than letting the truest impulses find you, you are busy rushing things. Your mind compels you to bulletproof and forcefeed:
your ’’brain’’ with knowledge and information
your ’’persona’’ with newsletters, updates & feeds on social
your muscles and tendons with (over)corrective stretches and excessive exercise
your ’’gut’’ with supplements and supposedly nutritious foods
your ’’soul’’ with spiritual teachings
All too busy deferring and buffering against the very wholeness that you seek.
You can’t get away with anything in life. All illusions end up in pain. Never mind what happens: respond rather than react. You see what you aim at. Your ego keeps the scope fuzzy. Aim at the truth. Stay with your deepest intent, bracket the noise. Allow what arises without indulging or personalizing it. Stay empty handed, congruent only to the truth of this moment. The only thing that you can give is your presence and the only thing you can get is presence in return. Stay loose, go with the given. Notice nuances. Don’t mind what happens. Roll with what gives. See where it goes.
I see myself as a human (at)tuner of sorts. I tap into higher frequencies of presence and I expose others to these frequencies through the way I engage with them. I intend to tune others into these subtler frequencies within, to be more present themselves and feel loved and loving as a consequence. Tuning takes time and it takes trust. The stronger the existential momentum one happens to be caught up in the longer it takes to come to a sufficient standstill where true intent arises to orient subsequent actions. It takes time, trust and patience, but the rest takes care of itself. I am there basically to help make room for the deceleration to occur.
Here is a list of some of the (intertwined) practices that I [as an introvert] typically do to cultivate inhabiting subtler frequencies of energy:
social isolation and minimized distraction (no TV, no news, using the internet and social media once a day for an hour @ the local library)
sufficient recovery after ’social exertions’ (taking a nap, resting)
writing (journaling, composing blog posts and bon mots to share online later)
standing and sitting still (as a way of active meditation)
humming & singing to myself
stretching, foam-rolling, rippling and rotating my limbs and my hips in a spiral and wave like fashion, all movement directed from my core, swinging a clubbell occasionally
listening to monotonous music (Basinski) or a track on an endless loop (e.g. Earth is Gone by Slugabed)
listening to speeches by Adyashanti, David Deida, Owen Cook
eating a relatively clean & balanced diet (Ray Peat inspired)
engaging others mindfully and as authentically ’’as it gets’’ @ work, the shop, the café, social events, etc.
If the first few sessions feel weird, confusing, irritating, frustratingly directionless and unnerving it’s a good sign that there is deceleration happening which is a necessary component. The truth that is shining through the one who plays the role of the guide will sharply interrupt most of the familiar, deeply conditioned patterns of relating. It takes trust and proper surrender on both the part of the guide to be as transparent [to the truth of the moment] as it gets and on the part of the client to be as receptive [to the guide’s translucent ’dictation’] as it gets. The guide is a tuner of sorts, tuning (up) the client into subtler frequencies of energy [within]. Authenticity acts as a psychological tonic in both directions. Ideally, guide and client mutually co-evolve in the moment of engaging and a session is a different experience not only with each client but with the very same client on each occasion as well. The more transparency and trust there is the quicker the attunement occurs. The client is basically self-guided to tune into their inner fountain of wisdom and intuition. Once the tuning is sufficiently habituated the guide can be jettisoned.
This type of coaching is not goal-oriented but more like ground-zero oriented, less in the spirit of facilitation than that of deceleration, of coming to a standstill where the guide and the client mutually explore the moment as it unfolds organically. It’s not building on pre-existing ego-bound values (of purpose, goal, success) but interrupts most of these surrogate patterns. It is typically an experience of failure and frustration accompanied by a sense of liberation. Instead of priming target emotions [of fulfilment] there is no target here other than a fuller presence to the transitory (e)motions in/of the moment, to the already given, to the foundation of inherent fulfilment. In essence, it’s a training aimed at aligning with the truth of the moment.
Energetically you are either in the mode of conversing or conserving: the momentary fluctuation of which is natural but monitoring (thus checking) your prevailing tendency to do the latter (to the detriment of the former) is optional.
Take nothing at face value. See through the sur-face. See through the ripples. Rest with the truth of this moment. No matter the content it’s the context of your engagements that manifests in your experience. No matter their content it’s the context of your comments that determines the interpersonal trajectories involving you.
See through the bitchiness of women, see through the antagonism of colleagues, see through the heavy moods of loved ones, see through their trans-generational, trauma-induced compulsions to hurt and feel hurt, see through the ingratiating comments of your fans, see through your adverse and elated reactions—feel them, embrace them, fully, rest in them, struggle with ease—nothing’s a big deal.