Energetically you are either in the mode of conversing or conserving: the momentary fluctuation of which is natural but monitoring (thus checking) your prevailing tendency to do the latter (to the detriment of the former) is optional.
Take nothing at face value. See through the sur-face. See through the ripples. Rest with the truth of this moment. No matter the content it’s the context of your engagements that manifests in your experience. No matter their content it’s the context of your comments that determines the interpersonal trajectories involving you.
See through the bitchiness of women, see through the antagonism of colleagues, see through the heavy moods of loved ones, see through their trans-generational, trauma-induced compulsions to hurt and feel hurt, see through the ingratiating comments of your fans, see through your adverse and elated reactions—feel them, embrace them, fully, rest in them, struggle with ease—nothing’s a big deal.
White noise dissolves me like aspirin dissolves in warm water. Both aid, for lack of a better term bio-physical alignment too, I find.
- When you notice an escalation of tension & wiredness collapse right into your sofa and tune into the ’white noise’ in your ears.
- Trace the emotional pain that got triggered: localize it by scanning your body as you’re letting it sink (deflate) deeper & deeper into the sofa.
- Let the sensations (and the voices) ripple and intensify as you rest & sink into them as well.
- Relax all the way.
I as an ego have been (en)trained to fixate on pleasing others and feel ashamed and contract in emotional pain whenever (I (perceive that) I cause some form of (emotional) damage to an other. Yeah: I am absolutely loath to put a dent in youse delicate souls.
The emotional pain I typically feel stems either from a sense of guilt or shame [which compels me to recoil] or a sense of over-excitement [which compels me to grasp] and it functions like a black hole that siphons off my energetic flow (shunting blood sugar and cuing the stress hormones) leading to a crash, an energetic collapse (glycogen plummet), a shutdown of bowel movement and severe exhaustion or even a hangover headache in its aftermath.
Once I recognize that ’I’ ain’t the black hole (& totally bound by the gravitational pull of a self-obsessed ego) but that I am the limitless cosmos that contains it: the energetic see-saw dampens to a gentler, more sustainable swing.
In essence, this recognition comes when I finally come upon [=relax into] the distinction between white noise (aka stillness, true freedom) and noise (the emotional pain triggered by shame, guilt, frustration and the compulsion to struggle).
Your glycogen store is as vulnerable to depletion as your [transpersonal] poise is to existential wobbles.
Right in the middle of mentalizing: STOP. Reground, regroup in stillness. In other words: Notice when you get caught up in an agenda (scheme of certainty) at the expense of the truth (scene of uncertainty). The specter of scarcity that haunts [~suffuses the idea that you have about] your self follows you around like a shadow. Notice when the scheming self (that is forever seeking its way out & about) picks up momentum again and (ar)rest all movement right there, suspend everything right then. STOP. Fall right back in front of your grasping/recoiling. And simply regard the GIVEN: the sheer immediacy that envelops you this moment. Linger. No edge. No center. No ground.
No time. No rhyme. No reason.