If you decide to engage her then never argue with her. Never ever argue with her, only play with her. And escalate. Mess with her a little and then face the chaos, ride the waves of her tsunami that brings you deeper into the unknown, far from the shore (of what’s sure).



There is always the choice between going with the TRUTH or HOLDING BACK (aka feeding into the fearful ego). When a girl arouses you and you feel like engaging her but hold back instead (to maintain your cool and not risk losing face while hoping for her to initiate) you deny the TRUTH and more importantly you refuse to GIVE her BACK the GIFT that she is giving you by her arousing presence in that moment. Her presence triggers a SPARK in you that can be shared (instead of trying to keep your ego spared). Of course, it’s not necessary at all to do so especially when yo ain’t single, but that can be your truest gift to her: giving back the spark that SHE triggers in you by telling her how she makes you feel (inside and out)—no agenda, no pressure, no demands, no strings attached. Embodying the jolt of the moment. Aligning with the truth and sharing it. She will either appreciate it or she will react out of her own fearful ego and reject or even try and humiliate you. Both ways are OK since it is the truth that she responds to. Nothing is ever personal. If there is a SPARK it is your privilege as a man to initiate engaging her and it is her privilege as a woman to either receive or reject your truthful thrust. For this you must keep your poise and be grounded in your gut, engaging her from the truth of the moment—steering clear of the images the scheming ego automatically starts projecting. If she resorts to playing games with you she is doing so out of frustration over your failing to stay true to her and the truth of the moment. Simple as that. Now go and harass her ass. See where it goes…

fear of intimacy

if intimacy is a big deal for you and you tend to recoil from it because you feel paranoid of ending up being emotionally abused & bruised

practice letting go in the moment

the closure you fret gets enacted by you being too much outside of the moment which is to say: ‘in other people’s heads’

feel the chemistry of the moment:
attach and allow no strings

intimacy is exposure at its most intense
intellectualizing is a way of buffering against it

instead of resenting (& keep buffering against) the demand for connection
(let) go deeper and longer every single time

let go
relax into the exposure
relish your wobbles
witness the ripples
and feed it all back to poise (grounded presence)

take ownership

exposure is the name of the game
and transparency is what lubricates it

for further tangents on the topic
& listen to:


seduction is a dance of suction and resistance,

a subtle form of relating in the truth of a polarized moment

it is subtle because it is risqué

let’s study how the serpent games Eve, for instance

it all starts off with an indirect opener:

He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

to which she-gullible lass that she is-responds in earnest:

“We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

at this critical moment the serpent stays cool,
pushing no agenda, simply offering something that sounds exciting:

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

BANG! the serpent penetrates

here we have the scheme for a neat cold approach sequence with the frame of offering (adventure & new experience) which SHE is welcome to take or leave:

1 spot her (NOTICE something relevant about/to her)
2 obey the jolt of the impulse: INITIATE
3 WITNESS the ripples (her resistance, your wobbles): do not eject, lean back, relax
4 move things forward: PROPOSE the next thing

& of course have an ATTACH NO STRINGS mindset from the get-go

SHE will fall for charms because SHE cannot resist,
because SHE is CHAOS
and that’s how the loop of life enacts itself
CHAOS impregnates ORDER and ORDER impregnates CHAOS

relationships help you align

if you initiate a relationship
from a place of holding back
and putting up an engaging cool front
it will take effort to maintain it
before you end up losing it

in principle,
what you achieve through effort
will take effort to keep
but when you achieve something with ease
(i.e. without holding back)
it will evolve with ease

to find a good match:
don’t hold back, taste a lot and keep probing,
learn to see beyond looks
and perceive behavioral compatibility