I can’t afford self-pity any more than I can afford put-on sentiments of commiseration. Assuming the emotional pain of others won’t help anybody to deal with the fallout of their personal tragedy. The best gesture I can offer is to lead by example, which is taking the thing impersonal: directly to heart, deep and at once released.
People manipulate each other emotionally because they are terrified, and they are terrified because they are identified with their brittle little bitter ego and feel compelled to defer their pain by blaming, guilting and shaming the other. And it goes both ways: The trigger-happy are quick to click the bait—only those ego-identified can be emotionally abused. The way out is opening into it, right into the fear, the sheer terror, of ’it.’ So long as your intent is pure—to lighten up and to see, efficiency & transparency, the truth—they have nothing against you. Nothing. If your overall frame towards others is: I am here for you. If you have something real to give to the world, I am here to see and appreciate it, otherwise I am blind to you—your conscience is clear.
I see myself as a human (at)tuner of sorts. I tap into higher frequencies of presence and I expose others to these frequencies through the way I engage with them. I intend to tune others into these subtler frequencies within, to be more present themselves and feel loved and loving as a consequence. Tuning takes time and it takes trust. The stronger the existential momentum one happens to be caught up in the longer it takes to come to a sufficient standstill where true intent arises to orient subsequent actions. It takes time, trust and patience, but the rest takes care of itself. I am there basically to help make room for the deceleration to occur.
Here is a list of some of the (intertwined) practices that I [as an introvert] typically do to cultivate inhabiting subtler frequencies of energy:
- social isolation and minimized distraction (no TV, no news, using the internet and social media once a day for an hour @ the local library)
- sufficient recovery after ’social exertions’ (taking a nap, resting)
- writing (journaling, composing blog posts and bon mots to share online later)
- standing and sitting still (as a way of active meditation)
- humming & singing to myself
- stretching, foam-rolling, rippling and rotating my limbs and my hips in a spiral and wave like fashion, all movement directed from my core, swinging a clubbell occasionally
- listening to monotonous music (Basinski) or a track on an endless loop (e.g. Earth is Gone by Slugabed)
- listening to speeches by Adyashanti, David Deida, Owen Cook
- eating a relatively clean & balanced diet (Ray Peat inspired)
- engaging others mindfully and as authentically ’’as it gets’’ @ work, the shop, the café, social events, etc.
Take the leap and take the lead. Stay nonstick, pure surface—congruent and accountable to nothing and nobody but the truth and only the truth. No longer abdicate the truth for anybody’s sake. Argue no longer with the truth. Argue no longer for the truth. Keep it sweet and simple. Be the truth. Be nobody—pure surface. You need nobody—stay nonstick. All you have is the truth of this moment. Take the lead. Let the truth orient you. Nobody can harm you. Nobody can pin you down and guilt or shame you into feeling accountable for anything any more than they can do it to the truth. The truth is infinite—fickle on its lush surface but immutable at its empty core. It’s you—pure loving. The truth finds you when you stop (running from it). Respond to every instance of engagement with opening. Open through [self-inflicted] emotional pain. Open through hurt. Open through fear. Open for the sake of opening. Follow your fear. Follow the trace of love’s blood. Follow the path of the heart through the jungle of fear. Respond with opening. Nothing can harm you. All there is is this moment. Everything. Whereever and whoever it happens to find you with right now—this moment is where you truly belong. Respond with opening.
No rules. You let truth get through. You have no false conscience. No one can hold anything against you. You are authentically inconsistent: only congruent to the truth of the fluctuating, transient moment. More curious than serious and more erotic than neurotic. You love. Bless your heart for being one of a rare kind.
Struggle or Surrender. Drift fear-fully or drift through fear. This is your call. The truth is given—always, already: giving. Take it or leave it. The rest is a mirage. No matter how vivid: It’s only a mirage. Pick your lane: drift fear-fully or drift through fear.
The second you grab, things collapse. As soon as you try, you lose. The moment you reach, things fall away. As soon as you have, you lack. The instant you stall, you stumble. Etc.